I’m a crappy parent.
What made think I had the unmitigated audacity to bring kids into this Earth?
That’s what I thought about briefly one day when I was thinking about my kid’s futures. All my kiddos have development delays or social issues, health problems, and all sorts of acronyms after their diagnoses.
I was beside myself knowing the discomfort and pain they will likely go thru in their young lives.
Moments later I pushed that head-trash aside. Feelings like that are about as useful to me as tampons.
On the flip side, all my kids are beautiful. Like unicorns in the Harry Potter series they glow with beauty and personality. And don’t think for a minute I’m not taking credit for this too…
I understand that life can be challenging for us all…
But they are my kids!
I continued to tell myself everything would be ok but I couldn’t really tell my lizard brain to go to hell until I read the book, David and Goliath by Malcolm Gladwell. The sub headline says it all: “Underdogs, misfits, and the art of battling giants.”
The book starts with bible story of David and Goliath. Gladwell says everything we know about that story (why David won) is wrong.
David winning would have been shocking only if he fought Goliath in hand to hand combat—Goliath’s way. That’d be like me trying to get a date with my wife by arm wrestling The Rock. There’s no way I’d win.
But David used his strengths. He refused to wear armor so he could focus on speed. Goliath was big and slow because he was in enough armor to coat a VW bus. And as you probably know, David slung a rock and hit Goliath in the head and killed him.
David was a “Slinger”.
And I said slinger not swinger. Please try to keep your mind out of the gutter…
Gladwell said paintings from medieval times show slingers hitting birds in mid-flight. Irish sligers were said to be able to hit a coin from as far away as they could see it.
In Gladwell’s book there was example after example of things people went thru that seemed negative but it gave them the skill or edge to make them well suited to do what they wanted to do.
Finally I had the ammunition to make my monkey mind surrender. I KNEW in every fiber of my being that not only will my kids be fine, but they will likely be exceptional in some way.
For example my teen daughter would barely eat any food that wasn’t processed after she was about 8 years old. Getting her to eat fruit or vegetables was like asking Putin to get outta the Ukraine.
But now she eats a variety of food and she loves to cook. And her growing up fussy and with a picky palette drives her to cook and bake restaurant quality food. After all it can’t be…
Too brown.
Too burnt.
Or too Doughy.
It’s like Goldilocks and the Three Bears, her food has to be, just right.
Napoleon Hill put it this way, “every adversity, every failure, every heartbreak, carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.”
Abraham Hicks put is this way, “when the contrast gets greater, the desire gets greater too, and that’s what miracles are from.”
How could I even think of coming my between my kid’s and their miracles?
And by the way, don’t come between yours either.
Adam