I’m a crappy parent.  

What made think I had the unmitigated audacity to bring kids into this Earth?  

That’s what I thought about briefly one day when I was thinking about my kid’s futures.  All my kiddos have development delays or social issues, health problems, and all sorts of acronyms after their diagnoses.

I was beside myself knowing the discomfort and pain they will likely go thru in their young lives.  

Moments later I pushed that head-trash aside.  Feelings like that are about as useful to me as  tampons.

On the flip side, all my kids are beautiful.  Like unicorns in the Harry Potter series they glow with beauty and personality.  And don’t think for a minute I’m not taking credit for this too…

I understand that life can be challenging for us all…  

But they are my kids!

I continued to tell myself everything would be ok but I couldn’t really tell my lizard brain to go to hell until  I read the book, David and Goliath by Malcolm Gladwell.  The sub headline says it all: “Underdogs, misfits, and the art of battling giants.”

The book starts with bible story of David and Goliath.  Gladwell says everything we know about that story (why David won) is wrong.  

David winning would have been shocking only if he fought Goliath in hand to hand combat—Goliath’s way.  That’d be like me trying to get a date with my wife by arm wrestling The Rock.  There’s no way I’d win.

But David used his strengths.  He refused to wear armor so he could focus on speed.  Goliath was big and slow because he was in enough armor to coat a VW bus.  And as you probably know, David slung a rock and hit Goliath in the head and killed him.

David was a “Slinger”.  

And I said slinger not swinger.   Please try to keep your mind out of the gutter…

Gladwell said paintings from medieval times show slingers hitting birds in mid-flight.  Irish sligers were said to be able to hit a coin from as far away as they could see it.  

In Gladwell’s book there was example after example of things people went thru that seemed negative but it gave them the skill or edge to make them well suited to do what they wanted to do.  

Finally I had the ammunition to make my monkey mind surrender.  I KNEW in every fiber of my being that not only will my kids be fine, but they will likely be exceptional in some way.  

For example my teen daughter would barely eat any food that wasn’t processed after she was about 8 years old.  Getting her to eat fruit or vegetables was like asking Putin to get outta the Ukraine.  

But now she eats a variety of food and she loves to cook.  And her growing up fussy and with a picky palette drives her to cook and bake restaurant quality food.  After all it can’t be… 

Too brown.

Too burnt.

Or too Doughy.  

It’s like Goldilocks and the Three Bears, her food has to be, just right.

Napoleon Hill  put it this way, “every adversity, every failure, every heartbreak, carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.”

Abraham Hicks put is this way, “when the contrast gets greater, the desire gets greater too, and that’s what miracles are from.”

How could I even think of coming my between my kid’s and their miracles?  

And by the way, don’t come between yours either.

Adam

What is your purpose for being here?  

Small ask, right?  I may as well ask you what is the meaning to life or your opinion on gun control…

I found myself asking the purpose question more often after I turned 40.  after all, I’m an achiever.  Shouldn’t I be out there curing cancer or ending world hunger or something? 

I should.  If I thought it was my purpose…

I used to view purpose like the Matrix movies.  ‘All apps have a purpose and when that purpose is over, the app is deleted.’   I changed my hard stance on this but I also realized you have PURPOSE, and you have TOOLS.  

For example.

When I first became a comic book artist, I thought, I needed a mission statement.  A purpose.  An intention.  Drawing and painting in publishing couldn’t just be about drawing and painting.  So, I came up with, ‘I want to make a difference in the lives of people with my art.’

I realized the TOOL I used to do that was comic books, but eventually my tool changed to caricatures.  But guess what?  My purpose to make a difference in the lives of people is still the same.

And even with my writing and video blogging that I create for creative entrepreneurs like you.  I do it for the same reason, to make a difference in your life.  

Different tool, but the same purpose.  The same intention.  

Your “tool” will probably change too.  

Oprah’s first big tool was her talk show.  She used it to educate audiences for 25 years.  Now she does the same thing thru her OWN network, magazine, and other media.

Steve Jobs loved taking average products and making them better and more user-friendly.  He did this in college with a telephone long distance device and he did it with personal computers and MP3 players.  Same Steve Jobs but he used different tools.

Think of it this way.  The universe is constantly in expansion.  Nasa said, (from nasa.gov).  “The universe is getting bigger every second. The space between galaxies is stretching, like dough rising in the oven.”

Since the universe and everything in it is constantly in expansion, you are too.  You and your “tools” will always be expanding and evolving.  That’s why it’s so important to consciously keep evolving into a version of yourself that you can be proud of.  

You can just as easily expand into the grumpy asshole that yells at kids to stay of your lawn or a joyous person that loves what you see in the mirror.

Either way, the choice is yours.

Adam

I created a term when I was a teen, I called it Finish Line Behavior.   I still use this term today believe it or not.

Why did I create this term?  Necessity?  Nope, sheer annoyance.

Usually people from California…

Growing up in Phoenix Arizona, we were one of the fastest growing U.S. cities for many years.  Every year I’d meet people from all over the country who weren’t happy moving to Phoenix.  They’d say things like, I’ll be happy when I…

Meet the right person.

Get a good job.

Buy a house.  

I called it Finish Line Behavior because they would not be satisfied until they crossed a finish line or attained something that they wanted first.  

Californians drove me the most crazy because so many of them couldn’t take living in a dessert.  They’d bitch about the heat cause Los Angeles’ weather is SO perfect.  Or why there’s no beach or how public transportation sucked.  

Instead of punching them in the throat I’d low-key roll my eyes and ignore them.  All while thinking, here’s another Finish Line person.  

Morons.

Now imagine my surprise when I realized years later that I was being a Finish line person too.  

After I graduated from the university I was all about sacrificing the now for the big fun later.  I got invites from friends and family for parties, celebrations, and concerts and I rarely accepted.  

Why make time for things like fun?   I’m building a business ova here!  

Beside, once my business blows up, then we’re all gonna party like rockstars.  But first, let me take this call…

I realized, my life wasn’t working.  All that work and no play had me asking some bigger questions.  My wife was asking some bigger questions too.  Like why the hell aren’t doing anything together like we used to?  

“Honey, I get it. I’ll talk to you about it right after I send these e-mails…”

I stopped my Finish Line Behavior.  Instead of my rigid business goals and Klingon-like work ethic I chilled out.  I decided to focus on living, having fun, and creating experiences.  

In The Science of Getting Rich, Wallace D. Wattles writes, “…the only way in which you can assist the world in growing rich is by growing rich yourself…”

I think that is 100% true.  

If that is true, then this is true too.  The only way in which you can assist the world in being happy and making the world a better place is by being happy yourself.  

Now, crossing the finish line doesn’t matter because either way, I’m happy.

Adam

Wanna see a quote that pisses off most artists?

“There is no relationship between being good and getting paid.”     

– Joe Polish

You may have guessed why so many artists think this quote is about as realistic as The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl.  It’s cause they think how I used to think. 

You’re supposed to work, haaarrrdddd!  You put in all those hours for mastery, and then once you get good, really good, THEN the money comes.  

Oh really?  Does it?

I met a guy in life drawing class that literally could have taught the class.  His mastery of drawing was AT LEAST that of the instructor.  He may have been even more skilled!  

And my instructor was pretty damn amazing so that’s sayin’ something…

But guess what, he worked an average job that was WAY beneath his skill level.  And that would be ok if he enjoyed what he did but he didn’t.   He just never found a way to make a living from his art.

When I first started painting comics at Marvel my goal was to get so good I could get my own exclusive contract.  I worked experimenting with color palettes, styles, and all sorts of stuff.  One trick I found was putting up another painter’s work and emulating it in some way.

Not sure why I never had the confidence to just do my thing.  After all…

I never went to art school.

I wasn’t some art prodigy.  

I just wasn’t confident in my own ideas. 

Until…

I was painting a page and I opened up an image painted by one of my favorite artists, Christina Strain.  I kept going back and fourth looking at how she rendered and did a few things.  Soon I realized, the work I was studying was mine and not hers.  

Christina is amazing but I realized in that moment that I didn’t give myself enough credit.  

And if you lack confidence in your craft, the same may be true for you.  You need to appreciate where you are in the process and what you do.  

If you can do that your confidence can show up in a minute or two.  And that confidence opens the flood gates to connection and creativity.  I think one problem I had (and why that initial quote pissed off so many people) is thinking you need mastery before confidence.  

You know me, I love a good sports analogy.  So…what about the great athletes, Adam?  

Look at Michael Phelps.  

Look at Lebron James.

Look at Roger Federer.

Those guys trained their ass off to get where they got.

Even Leonardo da Vinci  said, “Poor is the pupil who does not surpass his master.”

Yes, yes, and yes!  Mastery is great.  It should be the end game for you!  But none of those people had mastery right out of the gate!  

My point is this, Mastery is NOT connected to how much you can earn.  And it sure as hell isn’t connected to happiness!  And you can see evidence of that everywhere.

And let’s face it, what’s more fun?  Being confident and “feeling” mastery in that moment even though you don’t have it?  Or feeling like you’re not “there yet” and being salty about it?  

The being upset about it kept me in a death spiral that only led to lack and me trying to find myself.    Ok, death spiral was a bit melodramatic but you get my point.  Finding yourself is cute when you’re 20, but when you get older it’s pretty annoying.  

Appreciate yourself and where you are in the process.  When I did, my life changed.

And so can yours…

Adam

Early on, when I got focused on earning more and being more I started doing personal development.  

I read a couple of books but my studies went Chernobyl once I got into Wayne Dyer’s work.  I was deep into spirituality, the law of attraction, and philosophy.  

And like many people learning new things I knew EXACTLY what my wife’s problems were.  Which I was SO happy to share with her.  

She was NOT impressed.  At all.  

And neither were the sales of my businesses. 

No problem, I just need to open up a can of whoop-ass and get my sales and marketing chops going.  I studied my weight in books, courses, and audios!  I had a USP, a purple cow, and plenty of ambition.  Everything a young entrepreneur needs!

But something was wrong.  My life and career still wasn’t clicking.   It was like a plane sitting stationary on the runway at an airport.  Full of passengers, all gassed up, and ready to go but just…sitting there. 

Ah!  Now I know what the problem is!  I need to recreate myself.  All the cool Internet kids are doing that now!  

That didn’t work either.  

There’s nothing wrong with recreating yourself but I did it in a way that took me away from my gifts and my genius.  It’s like when Michael Jordan went to play baseball for a year.  Kudos to him for trying something different but he’s a genius at basketball, not the other way around.  

I decided to do something different.  Instead of feasting on sales and marketing I decided to go on a business diet.  I wanted to look at other ‘artists’ who went far in their field who DIDN’T focus on sales, marketing, or making money.  

My first study was Oprah.  I knew from listing to many of her interviews that she never made decisions early on based on money.  It was actually the opposite.  Her decisions were based on her integrity, her vision, and her purpose.  

I learned when it came to the big decisions, Oprah looked inside herself not outside.  

Then I studied Steve Harvey.  He was much like Oprah, for his success he constantly went within. Next was Kevin Hart and his podcast, where he interviews successful comedians.  There was a theme that always seemed to come up.  Yes the entertainers pushed and persevered but the big leaps came when they went within.  

Kevin Hart interviewed Judd Apatow.  He spoke about content and working with Paul Feig from Freaks and Geeks before he himself became a household name in the biz.  

Apatow said, “That’s when I realized the gold is going deep into yourself”.    “My friends who tell their truth, are breaking thru in some way.”  And that’s what he did.  

So wait, are you telling me what’s holding me back is not “them”?  

It’s not my less than perfect marketing skills? 

Or needing to read the top 10 business books on the bestseller list?

Nope.

And this reminded me of a quote Jack Canfield said that he heard from a Buddhist teacher.  I thought I got it before but now I REALLY get it.  

He said, “Let me give you the secret.  If you were to meditate for twenty years, this is where you’d finally get to:  Just be yourself.  But be all of you.”

So now, my focus is to go within.  Your spiritual self and your business self work together like peanut and jelly.

Bert and Ernie.

Penn and Teller.

Now when I talk about career success it just can’t be about getting better at your art.  It can’t just be about marketing and sales.  I have to bring up the spiritual mumbo jumbo that drives some people crazy.  Some people may not like me and that’s ok.

What’s important is that I am me.  All of me.  

And if you want to break thru and to be the best version of yourself you need to be you, too.  

All of you.

Adam